Category: Whimsy

  • Time For A New Photograph

    Long time ago, when I was but a teen, maybe right on the cusp, just getting interested in photography, my father and I sat up one evening to watch a PBS thing about Ansel Adams.  To this day I cannot find that film—it included a project of his photographing a Hispanic family living on a scrub farm, very rural, lots of kids.  He was working with both 4X5 and a Hasselblad.  It was a detailed film, taking the viewer through the whole process, from shutter-click to processing, to printing.  It had a substantial impact on me and I would like to find that film again, but I’ve even been to the Ansel Adams Museum in San Fransisco and they profess not to know what I’m talking about.  I doubt I dreamed it—until that point I had no idea who Ansel Adams was.

    In any event, there was a tone and approach to the whole enterprise that impressed me.  The man was meticulous, an artist, and he said the word “Photograph” with a kind of reverence that has stuck with me.  They weren’t “pictures”, certainly not “snapshots”, but PHOTOGRAPHS, spoken with a breathy exhalation on first consonant.  I came to associate the word with the best work, the images that really seem to work.  By that token, I have made very few photographs in my life, at least according to the standards I maintain.

    But I’ve reached a point where even the effort to make one merits the appellation, so I tend to call every image I make that is supposed to be serious art (whether it succeeds or not) a Photograph.  Vanity on my part.

    For instance:

     

    I’d like to flatter myself that this is the kind of image that merits the term.  It’s about the symmetry, the balance of the spaces, and the range of tones.  It takes something ordinary and attempts to transform into both a concrete record and an abstract.  Using black & white strips the image to its compositional elements while at the same time the tonal treatment yields nuance.

    Lot of hyperbolic nonsense there.  The main thing is, I like it, it appeals to me, and I hope it’s the kind of thing that will reward multiple viewings.  Like any piece of art, the test is whether or not it exhausts itself after one exposure or if it will stand up to repeated inspection.  That I can’t answer.  Not yet.  A lot of my photographs I enjoy looking at still, many of the older black & whites especially.

    Oh, that’s another thing.  I tend to think of a Photograph as black & white.  This is prejudice, pure and simple, and early programming.  I have to consciously regard color works as Photographs—and I do—but when I hear the word I immediately, automatically, think black & white.  Apologies to all the very fine color photographers out there.

    Anyway, I thought I’d blow my trumpet this morning and indulge a little self-image fantasizing.  Now we can all return to what we were before.  Thank you for your attention and kind consideration.

  • New Directions

    I’m attending Bouchercon this week, here in St. Louis.  In the last few years I’ve been drifting toward crime fiction, partly in an attempt to cultivate new fields with a view toward getting my rather stagnant career moving, partly because I’ve always written something like it.

    The Robot Mysteries were, as advertised, mysteries of a sort.  Crime was happening in them, investigators investigated, macabre stuff occurred.  There was a bit of it in Metal of Night and a couple of major thefts (and murders) were integral to Peace & Memory.  Certain Remains was a mystery, even with noir elements, and the one, poor orphaned Terminator novel I wrote, Hour of the Wolf, was very noirish in tone.

    The alternate history, now making its newly-launched circuit in search of publisher, is very much a murder mystery, wrapped around a bit of steampunk.  I moved on from there to write a novel set in the 18th Century that is pretty much a murder mystery and the last book I finished is a straight up and down contemporary murder mystery.  Plans exist to continue all three into future novels.

    So when I wondered to my agent if I should maybe attend Bouchercon (after being reminded by good pal Scott Phillips that it was, y’know, right here in town this year) I got a loud, forceful “Well, yeah!”

    So in view of a potential new career, I’m updating my image a bit, trying it on for size, as it were, and seeing how it fits.  I asked Scott what to expect and he said “Well, for one thing, there are no costumes.”

    “Yeah,” I said, “but really all we have to do is dress well and we’re in costume.”

    To which he laughed and informed me that on average the women dress to the nines and the guys show up in jeans and t-shirts.

    Well.  I think I’ll just go as myself.

    But there are so many of them that it can be hard to choose…

    Tonight the festivities kick off with a pre-Bouchercon get-together in University City at a place called Meshuggah’s where monthly readings take place, a gig called Noir at the Bar.  I’ll be there.

    So will my new agent. (One of them, that is—I have two, which is kind of…wow.)  Yeah, despite my attempt at a cool demeanor, I’m jazzed about that.  Of all the “agents” I’ve had, I have only ever met two of them, both shortly before they left their respective agencies and me.

    Anyway, I probably won’t post anything till next week.  I’m stepping off the platform to head in a new direction.  Here’s hoping it takes me where I want to go.

  • Fiction Matters

    What I do puzzles some people.  Always has, even before I was doing it.  All those jokes about bookworms have a solid basis in real experiences—a great many people in our lives do not understand the importance of reading.  Worse, they have no clue about the pleasures of reading, which often makes me very sad.

    I was followed around the play ground at school once by three of my classmates who were determined to stop me from reading.  I don’t even remember the book anymore, only that I had finally found a way to enjoy recess, one that took me out of the rough-and-tumble of schoolyard hierarchical nonsense.  But after a couple of months of slipping out of the actual, fenced-in playground and finding a spot behind the bushes fronting the stone wall of the church and sitting there till the bell with a book, a trio of “friends” found me and took my book away.  You can imagine the game of keep-away that ensued, a game I never won.  The teacher caught us—we were technically out of the playground, which was a no-no—and the issue was resolved, as far as I’m concerned, in their favor: I had to return to the general population.  (This kind of thing happened all the time, every time I thought I’d found a way to avoid having to be Out There with the rest of them.  Always the kids making it difficult for me ended up losing me my privilege.  Taught me a lot about how power works in a bureaucracy.)

    Anyway, I kept trying and found new places to hide and these same three kept rousting me out and taking my book away.  Finally I found a place inside the school, up in a room above the stage in the gymnasium that no one else seemed to know about.  They never found me there.

    But my point is, they just didn’t get it.  Even those who didn’t ridicule me about it tended to be baffled.  What, you’re reading a book?  For  fun?  (To be fair, right about age 13, several of the girls “got it” and for a brief time I was popular with them because I provided them with books they otherwise might never have gotten their hands on.)

    So now I write.  Most of the people I associate with now are either writers or readers.  My “group” if you will includes almost no one who doesn’t read.  But I don’t live under a rock so I do run into people from time to time who exhibit dismay at the very idea of writing fiction.

    Well, The Guardian  has an article which provides some ammunition against such dismay.  Seems reading fiction promotes empathy.  Interesting, that.  In a country in which reading for pleasure is a minority indulgence, all you have to do is look around at the current political landscape and notice how much this may explain.

    Of course, to those of us who’ve been reading since we were old enough to hold a book in our lap this is nothing new.  It’s just nice to have it recognized.

    (Although I must admit that my empathy for those assholes who tormented me in school has never been much more than formal or, shall we say, academic?)

  • Carondolet Park

    The heat wave finally broke and this past weekend we took the dog and went through nearby Carondolet Park, which over the years has become our favorite to stroll.  Driving through I often see all kinds of photographic possibilities, and then, when I return with the camera, I can’t find most of them.

    But I did get some this time, so I thought I’d just put up a selection.  Something apolitical, pleasant, interesting, visually stimulating, etc.

    So….

     

  • Just Getting Up In The Morning

    Really, I’ve been up since 5:20 already.  We have company coming into town, so most of the day so far has been taken up with cleaning the house and arranging the guest room—which is at all other times my office.

    But I sometimes feel that just being able to get up in the morning and do anything constructive is a minor miracle.  Oh, nothing significant about that thought.  Usually it’s a matter of choosing among several options and then deciding whether I have either the imagination or the energy to tackle any of them.  I often have a period of enervation after completing a novel and the older I get the more intense they seem to be.

    I didn’t go to the gym this morning as I normally would have because of the incoming company and other scheduling conflicts.  I’d decided that before I found out about the company, but now I wonder if I’ll manage it Wednesday.  It is too easy to get into a habit of blowing off certain tasks for later.  For instance, I keep meaning to write a new short story (started one yesterday, much to my dismay) or pull out the half dozen I have in rough draft and get them in shape.  As long as there is a novel in process, I can feel righteous about putting them off.  But I have no excuse now other than just not feeling like it.

    Not to mention all the things around the house that need tending to.  I do a fair job of keeping up with the entropy, but some things slip by and when I get around to them they have grown in size to unmanageable proportions.  I have to work up to tackling them.  So far, I always do, but there may come a day…

    I’m going to Bouchercon.  Since at least two of the projects I have under submission to my new agent (did I tell you about my new agent?  I’m sure I did) are mysteries—though in truth at least half my oeuvre to date has been a hybrid of SF and mystery (I mean, it even says so on the cover of Mirage, Chimera, and Aurora,  an Asimov Robot Mystery), and there are even some noirish aspects to Remains—it seemed sensible to bite the bullet and go to the mystery convention, especially since it’s going to be here, in St. Louis.  The plus also is I get to meet my new agent (did I tell you about my new agent?  Oh, yeah, I did) face to face.

    It’s been feeling like this year a number of things are going to get fixed.  All this getting up in the morning has to count for something, right?  But one thing I’ve discovered for certain, and it’s something that had been bothering me—I still love to write.  Since March I have been working long days on two of my novels, both of which have received major revisions.  Hell, the first one was gutted like a fish and rebuilt almost from the bottom up.  But because it felt like it was going somewhere, that something was going to come of it, I dived in and had a ball.  This was important.  I needed to know this, thought I’d been putting off even asking the question.

    So getting up in the morning, while still occasionally a pain, has renewed meaning for me.  There’s a point to all this effort and that makes a huge difference.  Good may yet come of all this.

    I do need to make better use of my time.  But that’s always been true.  So for now, adieu.  I’m off to make time bleed a little and get some more done.

  • Around The Neighborhood

    Playing with pictures again.  Going for long walks, you never know what you might see…

     

  • Playing Jazz, part three

    Steel-trap smiles made room on the stage, a shuffle of seats, a place where chances die or lives are made, all the welcome of the seen-it-befores and the willingly-impressed, squeezed into a need for the new, hope for discovery, and fear of not-good-enough.

    The room itself prepared for betrayal, but the ears plugged back into the main artery, on the off that something might open a vein or just shut out the silence.

    The Kid opened his case and took out a pair of hands.  Everyone gasped at the tendons and callouses, the length of the reach and the curl of long use.  He attached them and flexed them and came up to the group and sat down with a comfort way past his years.

    Staves crossed, he danced over a brief history of composition, plainsong to Bach and right over romance he played straight into cool.  I heard chords buried under atonal cadences, squeezed between whole-tone and free jazz, unplayed references to Jellyroll, stride, Lester Brown, syncopated against voices lofted on solid riffs, the gifts of Bird found one long, strung-out night, reforming on Miles, scampering with Chick and Herbie, and soaring to Bop.

     

    He told us: sevenths took me out of thirds and they expelled me from the nursery.  On the street a big smiling wind showed me how to flatten my fifths and from there it was only a bus ride to the Village and the Vanguard and Birdland.  In the lower shoals, all eddied with mist and restless listening, the minor blues found release in an augmented major cool that fused with a life beat ignored by the timid, scorned by the comfortable, and recovered by archaeologists of ancient sighs.  It talked to me, whispered secrets, and taught me how to read the palimpsests of harmonies down to the bare rock surface of the first language.  I can tell you this much, what I’ve gleaned from all those notes passed sub rosa between classes, that it’s nothing alone and everything together.

    It’s the conversation that counts, the contact that matters, so talk to me now and let’s play some jazz.

  • Playing Jazz, part two

    Smoke pirourettes around the shrinking shapes of idle speculation.  Ritual anticipation settled for the inevitable triage of experience and achievement, dues and wisdom, invitation and exclusion.

    Sax throated obligatory admiration, mood recycled in reserve, and the shadows pressed faceless to the glass, watching the shark-moves of truth encircled by motifs, melodies, modes, and measures.

     

    Do you even know, they asked, what it is you want to say, never mind how to say it?  Do you have a mouth to match your measures?  Chords for your chords, a tongue for your tune?  The heart for your beat?

    The Kid folded his wings, shuffled his stand, arranged his perspective, and raised his sites. The air gathered close, keeping clear through the collection of relevant minutiae, ready to move when the words finally came.

    “I seen sad corners, he said, empty streets full of ghosts and ghosts full of need. Houses without homes and homes with no walls, towns without pity, summer in the city, and cities with no names.  I’ve heard all the ways a dime can be rolled, a quarter flipped, and a promise sold for the safety of a brick.  I’ve sat at bars and listened to the pointless frustration of voices with no song, the outlines of dreams, substanceless schemes, and aimless desire with no match to ignite, through nights with no stars only lights in the sky, and I came through the mess with a shape and a name and a point to be made.

    So here I am and I’m asking the chance.

    Let me sit in ‘cause I want to play jazz…”

  • Playing Jazz, part one

    I hung out in a small spot of night on the fringes of No Smoking and Adults Only.

    Thick air, eighty proof attitude, and shadows that kept your seat for you during intermissions.

    The stage belonged to a round of changing keys, facile fingers, and moods found in forgotten closets, abandoned buildings, after hour garages, and overlooked streets, brought in by saxes, axes, horns, and skins wearing misery wrapped up in puzzles, suits that only glowed in moonlight, who spoke in tongues unheard by day.

    One night they were handing out faces to the smiling, voiceless crowd, laying foundations for towers that never rose, sending messages in forgotten codes, when the Kid walked in, case under his arm, hat cocked, eyes clear behind opaque wisdom no one sought.  He stood at the foot of the stage, straight, respectful, patient, till the set was done and they noticed him.

    They asked him who he was and what did he want.  He set his case down on the edge of the platform and he said:

    “Who I am is a work in progress, a collection of possible outcomes, an arrow looking for a bow, a bullet for a barrel, a truth for a mouth to put it in.  What I do is whatever it takes to make all this congeal into reason and purpose.”

    We heard echoes.  So what, they asked then, do you think you’re gonna do here?

    And he answered: “I want to play jazz.”